Quotes and Sayings about Alcohol (Page 2)

I never diet. I smoke. I drink now and then. I never work out.

My doctor tells me I should start slowing it down - but there are more old drunks than there are old doctors so let's all have another round.

Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder.

Alcohol is just a lubricant for all the individual encounters that a bar offers.

People who drink to drown their sorrow should be told that sorrow knows how to swim.

I feel sorry for people who don't drink. When they wake up in the morning, that's as good as they're going to feel all day.

In 1969, I gave up women and alcohol - it was the worst 20 minutes of my life.

I hate to advocate drugs, alcohol, violence, or insanity to anyone, but they've always worked for me.

Alcohol gives you infinite patience for stupidity.

A bumper of good liquor will end a contest quicker than justice, judge, or vicar.

Once, during Prohibition, I was forced to live for days on nothing but food and water.

It's not easy being drunk all the time. Everyone would do it if it were easy.

Never sit a table when you can stand at the bar.