The best Quotes and Sayings about Alcohol

To alcohol! The cause of, and solution to, all of life's problems!

Everything's better with some wine in the belly.

Herb is the healing of a nation, alcohol is the destruction.

You're not drunk if you can lie on the floor without holding on.

'That's the problem with drinking', I thought, as I poured myself a drink. If something bad happens you drink in an attempt to forget; if something good happens you drink in order to celebrate; and if nothing happens you drink to make something happen.

The damage has been done. All that's left to do now is drink until the part of the brain that creates mental pictures is dead.

Alcohol is for people who can afford to lose a few brain-cells.

It is not true that drink changes a man's character. It may reveal it more clearly.

An intelligent man is sometimes forced to be drunk to spend time with his fools.

That's what I do. I drink and I know things.

Basically, I'm for anything that gets you through the night - be it prayer, tranquilizers or a bottle of Jack Daniels.

That's all drugs and alcohol do, they cut off your emotions in the end.

A man's true character comes out when he's drunk.

All right, brain. You don't like me and I don't like you, but let's just do this and I can get back to killing you with beer.

No, I'm not drunk at all. You're just blurry.

Bean: "I just realized something. You're the reason I have a drinking problem."
Zøg: "Of course I am. I'm your father."

You can’t drink him away. It won’t work.

Too much of anything is bad, but too much good whiskey is barely enough.

Alcohol may be man's worst enemy, but the bible says 'love your enemy'.

I feel sorry for people who don't drink. When they wake up in the morning, that's as good as they're going to feel all day.

The sway of alcohol over mankind is unquestionably due to its power to stimulate the mystical faculties of human nature, usually crushed to earth by the cold facts and dry criticisms of the sober hour.

It’s a great advantage not to drink among hard drinking people.

Too bad drinking scotch isn't a paying job, or else Kenny's dad would be a millionaire!

My justification is that most people my age spend a lot of time thinking about what they're going to do for the next five or ten years. The time they spend thinking about their life, I just spend drinking.

I spent a lot of money on booze, birds and fast cars. The rest I just squandered.

Anyone who doesn't appreciate a good quality booze, doesn't deserve to drink it.

The problem with the world is that everyone is a few drinks behind.

There is nothing left to do but get drunk.

The worst thing about some men is that when they are not drunk they are sober.

I may be drunk, Miss, but in the morning I will be sober and you will still be ugly.

A kid once said to me, 'Do you get hangovers?' I said, 'To get hangovers you have to stop drinking.'

Work is the curse of the drinking classes.

Lois: "Oh, my God! You can only play the piano when you're drunk!"
Peter: "That's not true! I can also vomit, fall down and make dirty calls to your sister when I'm drunk!"

Wine is constant proof that God loves us and loves to see us happy.

I believe that if life gives you lemons, you should make lemonade... and try to find somebody whose life has given them vodka, and have a party.

Drunk people are the only honest ones left.

Charlie: "Oh never again, never again."
Berta: "You gonna stop drinking?"
Charlie: "Are you crazy, I'm gonna stop waking up!"

Most things are a good excuse for a drink.

There are some troubles that only a stiff drink can take away.

Whisky's good proofing water. Tells you who's real and who isn't.

I only drink with people I like. When meeting people I don't like, I drink right before.

Drinking is much safer than sports. You can't get hurt, only hungover.

Christian: "What else is against the rules?"
Nadia: "Drinking, smoking, doing drugs..."
Christian: "...so basically all the fun stuff."

I could not live without Champagne. In victory I deserve it, in defeat I need it.

I gave up drinking once - it was the worst afternoon of my entire life.

I have two ambitions in life: one is to drink every pub dry, the other is to sleep with every woman on earth.

I've gotten more out of alcohol than alcohol has taken out of me.

I know a man who gave up smoking, drinking, sex, and rich food. He was healthy right up to the day he killed himself.

I never diet. I smoke. I drink now and then. I never work out.

My doctor tells me I should start slowing it down - but there are more old drunks than there are old doctors so let's all have another round.