I have two ambitions in life: one is to drink every pub dry, the other is to sleep with every woman on earth.SexOliver Reed
I've gotten more out of alcohol than alcohol has taken out of me.Winston Churchill
There is nothing left to do but get drunk.Franklin Pierce
I know a man who gave up smoking, drinking, sex, and rich food. He was healthy right up to the day he killed himself.Enjoying, Sex, Smoking, Funny QuotesJohnny Carson
No, I'm not drunk at all. You're just blurry.Pitch Perfect, by Jesse
Basically, I'm for anything that gets you through the night - be it prayer, tranquilizers or a bottle of Jack Daniels.Night & EveningFrank Sinatra
My doctor tells me I should start slowing it down - but there are more old drunks than there are old doctors so let's all have another round.Funny QuotesWillie Nelson
Bean: 'I just realized something. You're the reason I have a drinking problem.'
Zøg: 'Of course I am. I'm your father.'
Alcohol is just a lubricant for all the individual encounters that a bar offers.Death Proof, by Stuntman Mike
People who drink to drown their sorrow should be told that sorrow knows how to swim.WorriesAnn Landers
The worst thing about some men is that when they are not drunk they are sober.William Butler Yeats
Once we hit forty, women only have about four taste buds left: one for vodka, one for wine, one for cheese, and one for chocolate.Women, ChocolateGina Barreca
I feel sorry for people who don't drink. When they wake up in the morning, that's as good as they're going to feel all day.Dean Martin
I hate to advocate drugs, alcohol, violence, or insanity to anyone, but they've always worked for me.Drugs, Craziness & WeirdnessHunter S. Thompson
Alcohol gives you infinite patience for stupidity.Sammy Davis, Jr.
A bumper of good liquor will end a contest quicker than justice, judge, or vicar.Richard Brinsley Sheridan
Once, during Prohibition, I was forced to live for days on nothing but food and water.W. C. Fields
I may be drunk, Miss, but in the morning I will be sober and you will still be ugly.Funny QuotesWinston Churchill
A man's true character comes out when he's drunk.Charlie Chaplin
Why can't he go home? Why can't he grab a kebab, down a glass of water and pass out on the couch with one shoe on, like a normal person?PartyOzzy Man Reviews, Man vs. Truck
You can’t drink him away. It won’t work.Breakup & LovesickDebbie Gallagher in Shameless, Season 5 Episode 8
A kid once said to me, 'Do you get hangovers?' I said, 'To get hangovers you have to stop drinking.'Lemmy Kilmister
That's what I do. I drink and I know things.KnowledgeTyrion Lannister in Game of Thrones, Season 6 Episode 2
Never sit a table when you can stand at the bar.Ernest Hemingway
Alcohol may be man's worst enemy, but the bible says 'love your enemy'.Frank Sinatra
I feel sorry for people who don't drink. When they wake up in the morning, that's as good as they're going to feel all day.Frank Sinatra
The sway of alcohol over mankind is unquestionably due to its power to stimulate the mystical faculties of human nature, usually crushed to earth by the cold facts and dry criticisms of the sober hour.William James
It is not true that drink changes a man's character. It may reveal it more clearly.John Osborne
'That's the problem with drinking', I thought, as I poured myself a drink. If something bad happens you drink in an attempt to forget; if something good happens you drink in order to celebrate; and if nothing happens you drink to make something happen.Charles Bukowski in Women
It’s a great advantage not to drink among hard drinking people.F. Scott Fitzgerald in The Great Gatsby
Lois: 'Oh, my God! You can only play the piano when you're drunk!'
Peter: 'That's not true! I can also vomit, fall down and make dirty calls to your sister when I'm drunk!'
I believe that if life gives you lemons, you should make lemonade... and try to find somebody whose life has given them vodka, and have a party.Life, PartyRon White
Drunk people are the only honest ones left.@WillyFerrell
An intelligent man is sometimes forced to be drunk to spend time with his fools.IntelligenceErnest Hemingway
Samantha: 'I think it's sad the way she's using a child to validate her existence.'
Carrie: 'Exactly. Why can't she just use sex and a nice cocktail like the rest of us?'
Restaurant bathroom doors should be identified with the words, 'men' and 'women'. Silhouettes and cartoon drawings of sombreros, bowler hats, puffy skirts and pretty mouths do not provide enough information for drunks.Theodore Roosevelt
Charlie: 'Oh never again, never again.'
Berta: 'You gonna stop drinking?'
Charlie: 'Are you crazy, I'm gonna stop waking up!'
Too bad drinking scotch isn't a paying job, or else Kenny's dad would be a millionaire!Eric Cartman in South Park, Season 1 Episode 7
Alcohol is for people who can afford to lose a few brain-cells.Charlie Harper in Two and a half Men, Season 6 Episode 3
My justification is that most people my age spend a lot of time thinking about what they're going to do for the next five or ten years. The time they spend thinking about their life, I just spend drinking.Amy Winehouse