Quotes by Alan Harper

Quotes by Alan Harper
Quote by Alan Harper from Two and a half Men in Season 10 Episode 2

Women reject me for 100 different reasons. White teeth would reduce that to 99 problems.

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Quote by Alan Harper from Two and a half Men in Season 9 Episode 20

Well, listen, just remember, that love will get u through times of no money better, than money will get you through times of no love.

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Quote by Alan Harper from Two and a half Men in Season 9 Episode 8

Be sure to wear a condom, not everything stays in Vegas!

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Quote by Alan Harper from Two and a half Men in Season 9 Episode 8

I give you a hint: I didn't do the dog 'people-style'.

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Quote by Alan Harper from Two and a half Men

What happened? Did Starbucks merge with Hooters? Hooterbucks - I'd like a Double-D Cup Latte, please!

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Quote by Alan Harper from Two and a half Men in Season 9 Episode 4

Walden: 'Let this be a warning to you, Alan. There're women out there, that will be nice to you, just to get to your money.'
Alan: 'Thanks, but that's not very high on my list of concerns.'

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Quote by Alan Harper from Two and a half Men in Season 9 Episode 4

Lindsey: 'You're tall, good looking, very successful. Believe me, women settle for a lot less!'
Alan: 'And thank god for that!'

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Quote by Alan Harper from Two and a half Men in Season 9 Episode 1

Walden: 'Money does not buy happiness!'
Alan: 'I wouldn't know, I never had either.'

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Quote by Alan Harper from Two and a half Men in Season 9 Episode 1

I could sprinkle you on the beach. It's simple, it's dignified and pretty girls covered with oil will be sitting on you all day. And like your life, except for the dignified part.

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Quote by Alan Harper from Two and a half Men in Season 9 Episode 1

I know what you said you wanted, but I really dont think Pamela Anderson will agree to swallow your ashes.

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Quote by Alan Harper from Two and a half Men in Season 9 Episode 1

[talking to Charlie's urn] Here we are, buddy. Just like old times, I'm talking and you're in a bottle, ignoring me.

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