The best Quotes by Al Franken

It's easier to put on slippers than to carpet the whole world.

I think the Internet has developed at this incredibly rapid pace because of net neutrality, because of the free nature of it, because a YouTube can start the way YouTube started.

Internet YouTube Neutrality

Humor and seriousness are not in opposition to each other.

Humor & Comedy

Mistakes are a part of being human. Appreciate your mistakes for what they are: precious life lessons that can only be learned the hard way. Unless it's a fatal mistake, which, at least, others can learn from.

Failures & Mistakes

Apple has long been a leading innovator of mobile technology; I myself own an iPhone.

Apple iPhones

Antitrust law isn't about protecting competing businesses from each other, it's about protecting competition itself on behalf of the public.

Terrorism, to me, is the use of terror for political purpose, and terror is indiscriminate murder of civilians to make a political point.

Terrorism

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No wonder the city never sleeps, it's too busy trying to get laid.

Carrie Bradshaw in Sex And The City - Season 1 Episode 11

Sex New York City

There are eight million people in this city. And those teeming masses exist for the sole purpose of lifting the few exceptional people onto their shoulders.

Grüner Kobold in Spider-Man

Fame New York City

If I can make it there
I'll make it anywhere
It's up to you
New York, New York

Frank Sinatra - New York, New York

New York City

Manhattan, for millions of our forefathers, the gateway to hope, opportunity and happiness beyond their wildest dreams. Today, that hope is still alive, it's called "The First Date". On Saturday nights, every restaurant in Lower Manhattan resembles its own little Ellis Island.

Carrie Bradshaw in Sex And The City - Season 2 Episode 3

New York City Manhatten

I want to wake up in that city
That doesn't sleep
And find I'm king of the hill
Top of the heap

Frank Sinatra - New York, New York

New York City

In a city that moves so fast, you get the Sunday paper on Saturday - how did any of us know how much time we had left?

Carrie Bradshaw in Sex And The City - Season 2 Episode 5

New York City

We are New Yorkers. Proud citizens of the greatest city on earth. Thinking big isn't new to us. It is the very foundation of who we are.

Bill de Blasio

New York City

Regardless of our differences, this was still New York. A melting pot crammed onto an island, then pushed into a subway car with a rat eating pizza. You're not left or right. You're a New f*cking Yorker and we're in this together.

Jordan Klepper in The Daily Show - Debates Anti-Vax Mandate Protesters in NYC

New York City

Do you know how bad that coffee has to be to to be considered a health risk in New York? This is the same city where pizza gets delivered by a rat!

Ronny Chieng in The Daily Show

New York City

I don't wanna f*ck it up because one of us didn't prepare for the slim possibility of New York City traffic!

Michael Lawson in Uncoupled - Season 1 Episode 1

New York City

While it's not very Minnesotan to brag, I've got to brag on our state a little here: We were just ranked #1 in the country for health care.

Tim Walz - July 2024

Minnesota

I was born in 1940 in Minnesota and grew up in the country... dirt roads, swamps, lakes, woods.

Terry Gilliam

Minnesota

Ted: "It's freezing out there. Where's your coat?"
Robin: "Ted, I'm Canadian. I don't need a coat. This kind of weather is nothing for me."
Marshall: "Yeah. This is like a spring day back in Minnesota."

Marshall Eriksen in How I Met Your Mother - Season 4 Episode 11

Canada Minnesota

Minnesota, I love you snow much!

Minnesota

Minnesota Forecast. Today: Sun. Tomorrow: Snow. Next Day: Tornado, probably.

Minnesota

Minnesota girls - the kind of girl you can take home to meet your mom, but can outdrink your dad.

Minnesota

Most places would call it a crippling snowstorm. In Minnesota, we call it Tuesday.

Minnesota

Another way of enjoying Minnesota is to move to Wisconsin.

Wisconsin Minnesota

Minnesota: the only place where I get excited over a lake.

Minnesota

Well, I just looked in the mirror
And things aren't looking so good
I'm looking California
And feeling Minnesota

Soundgarden - Outshined, Album: Badmotorfinger

Minnesota

Dude, I don't want to talk about Lacey's prom shoes. And I'll tell you why: I have this thing that makes me really uninterested in prom shoes. It's called a penis.

John Green in Paper Towns

Shoes Penisses

Cinderella is proof that a new pair of shows can change your life.

Cinderella Shoes Shopping

Give me your love and not your like!

Internet Social Media

The internet has been a boon and a curse for teenagers.

Joanne K. Rowling

Internet Teenagers

Back in the day, if you were watching a video online and words came up on the screen saying, "just wait for it", it was worth waiting for. Something awesome was gonna happen at the end of that video. Now, every second video says, "just wait for it", you get to the end... it's shit. It's underwhelming. Nothing happens. It was not worth waiting for.

Tom Cashman

YouTube

I want to make YouTube videos until the day I die, I love this so much.

MrBeast

YouTube

There can be no balance with a hand on the scale.

Swain, the Noxian Grand General in League of Legends

Neutrality

Neutrality, as a lasting principle, is an evidence of weakness.

Lajos Kossuth

Neutrality

If you can't laugh at yourself, life is going to seem a whole lot longer than you'd like.

Sam in Garden State

Laughing & Smile Humor & Comedy

He who can make people laugh has to be taken seriously; all people with power know that.

Werner Finck

Laughing & Smile Humor & Comedy Satire

But there are mistakes that are necessary. Sometimes you have to die a little bit to get back to live a little longer.

Benedict Wells

Failures & Mistakes Breakup Beginning

I make mistakes like the next man. In fact, being - forgive me - rather cleverer than most men, my mistakes tend to be correspondingly huger.

Albus Dumbledore in Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince

Failures & Mistakes Intelligence

Gerald Broflovski: "Well that does it, I'm going to the police!"
Stan: "For what?"
Gerald Broflovski: "To find out where Apple is keeping my son."
Stan: "Dude, when the police want to know where somebody is, they ask Apple!"

Stan Marsh in South Park - Season 15 Episode 1

Apple

Jacob: "Are you Steve Jobs?"
Cal: "What?"
Jacob: "Are you the billionaire owner of Apple Computers?"
Cal: "No."
Jacob: "Oh, OK. In that case, you've got no right to wear New Balance sneakers, ever."

Jacob Palmer in Crazy, Stupid, Love.

Steve Jobs Apple

You're like the iPhone 5 of German TV hosts. Thin, light and unnecessarily tall.

Klaas Heufer-Umlauf in Joko & Klaas - neoParadise vom 13.09.2012

iPhones

We live in a world where losing your iPhone is more dramatic than losing your virginity.

Society Smartphones iPhones

There's one thing that every terrorist knows: fear is the most effective explosive.

Fear Terrorism

We need to ask who is the enemy, and the enemies are terrorists.

Zbigniew Brzezinski

Terrorism

Some a-hole leaks it online and I'm like, you know, looking at the guy in the mirror brushing my teeth, "Dude, what have you done? This could be punishable by law!" But the internet forced the studio to say, "We're gonna make this movie", and 24 hours later, that movie had a green light.

Ryan Reynolds - September 2025

Deadpool

The best Quotes by Al Franken

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