We all have to live with our disappointments. I have to sleep with mine.
DisappointmentAl Bundy in Married... with Children, Season 3 Episode 5Peggy: "I want sex."
Al: "So do I, but I see no reason to drag you into it."
Insurance is like marriage. You pay and pay, and never get anything back!
Marriage, InsurancesAl Bundy in Married... with ChildrenThe last thing a guy wants to look at at the end of the day is a woman.
Al Bundy in Married... with ChildrenBehind every successful man is a woman who didn't marry me.
Al Bundy in Married... with ChildrenI, too, am a great believer in love. I want to find it myself some day. Let me give you a little bit of advice: Bed 'em, don't wed 'em. Do 'em, don't woo 'em. Date 'em, don't mate 'em.
Al Bundy in Married... with ChildrenDad had one great dream, a dream that had been handed down from generation to generation of male Bundys: to build their own room and live separately from their wives. Sadly, they all failed.
Al Bundy in Married... with ChildrenThe opera isn't over until the last heterosexual falls asleep.
OperasAl Bundy in Married... with ChildrenI hate my life. Can't eat, can't sleep, can't bury the wife in the backyard.
Al Bundy in Married... with ChildrenPeg, if you want this house to look better, dust. If you want it to smell better, cook. If you want it to be happy, leave.
Al Bundy in Married... with ChildrenThis woman came in and she was so fat she actually had three smaller women orbiting around her.
Fat PeopleAl Bundy in Married... with Children