Quotes by Al Bundy

Al Bundy is a character from Married... with Children

The best Series Quotes

We all have to live with our disappointments. I have to sleep with mine.

DisappointmentAl Bundy in Married... with Children, Season 3 Episode 5
 
Comment 

Peggy: "I want sex."
Al: "So do I, but I see no reason to drag you into it."

Al Bundy in Married... with Children
 
Comment 

Insurance is like marriage. You pay and pay, and never get anything back!

Marriage, InsurancesAl Bundy in Married... with Children
1
Comment 

The last thing a guy wants to look at at the end of the day is a woman.

Al Bundy in Married... with Children
 
Comment 

Behind every successful man is a woman who didn't marry me.

Al Bundy in Married... with Children
 
Comment 

I, too, am a great believer in love. I want to find it myself some day. Let me give you a little bit of advice: Bed 'em, don't wed 'em. Do 'em, don't woo 'em. Date 'em, don't mate 'em.

Al Bundy in Married... with Children
 
Comment 

Dad had one great dream, a dream that had been handed down from generation to generation of male Bundys: to build their own room and live separately from their wives. Sadly, they all failed.

Al Bundy in Married... with Children
 
Comment 

The opera isn't over until the last heterosexual falls asleep.

OperasAl Bundy in Married... with Children
 
Comment 

I hate my life. Can't eat, can't sleep, can't bury the wife in the backyard.

Al Bundy in Married... with Children
 
Comment 

Peg, if you want this house to look better, dust. If you want it to smell better, cook. If you want it to be happy, leave.

Al Bundy in Married... with Children
 
Comment 

This woman came in and she was so fat she actually had three smaller women orbiting around her.

Fat PeopleAl Bundy in Married... with Children
 
Comment