The best Quotes by Abraham Simpson

The best Quotes by Abraham Simpson

Abraham Jebediah "Abe" Simpson II, better known as Grampa Simpson, is a recurring character in the animated television series The Simpsons.

My Homer is not a Communist. He may be a liar, a pig, an idiot, a Communist, but he is NOT a p-rn star!
The Simpsons - Season 9 Episode 19
4

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To alcohol! The cause of, and solution to, all of life's problems!
Homer Simpson in The Simpsons - Season 8 Episode 18
11
If I didn't have this gun, the king of England could walk right in here and start pushing you around.
Homer Simpson in The Simpsons - Season 9 Episode 5
3
This is America. Anyone can eat what they want, as long as they eat too much.
Homer Simpson in The Simpsons - Season 24 Episode 5
3
I am so smart, I am so smart! S-M-R-T!
Homer Simpson in The Simpsons - Season 5 Episode 3
3
No son, you don't want to drink beer. That's for daddies, and kids with fake IDs.
Homer Simpson in The Simpsons - Season 8 Episode 10
3
All right, brain. You don't like me and I don't like you, but let's just do this and I can get back to killing you with beer.
3
This room is like a museum of old, useless crap... by which I mean every museum.
Homer Simpson in The Simpsons - Season 24 Episode 4
2
Marriage is like a coffin and each kid is another nail.
Homer Simpson in The Simpsons - Season 14 Episode 2
2
Just because I don't care, doesn't mean I don't understand.
2
Kids, you tried your best, and you failed miserably. The lesson is, never try.
Homer Simpson in The Simpsons - Season 5 Episode 18
2
Ah, beer, my one weakness. My Achille's heel, if you will.
1
Maybe, just once, someone will call me 'Sir' without adding, 'You're making a scene'.
1
Marriage is like a coffin and each kid is another nail.
1
If you don't like your job, you don't strike: you just go in every day and do it really half a-sed. That's the American way.
1
Where's the "any key"? Hm... I think I order a "tab".
1
Homer: "Do you want the job done right or do you want it done fast?"
Marge: "Well, like all Americans… fast!"
We home school 'em. I teach the big ones, and the big ones teach the little ones, but nobody taught me, so the whole thing is an exercise in futility.
Cletus Spuckler in The Simpsons - Season 18 Episode 14
What are days for? Days are where we live. They come, they wake us. Time and time over. They are to be happy in. Where can we live but days?
One Day - Season 1 Episode 1
Dick: "We're just as tough as any other gang in here."
Karen: "Here's your peppermint tea, Dick. I put a splash of honey in it, I know you got a scratchy throat."
I'm new school, and there's gonna be less violence on my watch. Is there anything that I could've done to improve your highway robbery experience?

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