Quotes and Sayings about Comedians

Comedians are really writers who don't have pens and pencils about them, but they riff.

I've experienced plenty of times when something I think is funny doesn't do very well. And there are times when something I don't think is funny makes the audience laugh so hard.

Carrot Top

Everything is changing. People are taking their comedians seriously and the politicians as a joke.

Will Rogers

Politicians

You know, I've never thought of myself as a comedian.

Terry Jones

When I told my friends I was going to be a comedian, they laughed at me.

Carrot Top

Every time I've done comedy in, like, traditional comedy clubs, there's always these comedians that do really well with audiences but that the other comedians hate because they're just, you know, doing kind of cheap stuff like dancing around or doing, like, very kind of base sex humor a lot, and stuff like that.

Aziz Ansari

Comedians walk out, get a feel for the crowd. If it's not going good, we change directions. If we got to drag your momma into this thing, we will. Whatever we got to do.

Steve Harvey

I'm a comedian first. I've learned how to act. I just draw on life experiences and that's how I've learned. I didn't take classes or anything. I don't need no classroom.

Steve Harvey

In the end, censoring a comedian's jokes is on par with censoring "Huckleberry Finn." Now, I'm not comparing myself to Mark Twain - he had much wavier hair and a slightly thicker mustache. But when you deny an artist the chance to explore his art, you're forcing your beliefs on him.

Lisa Lampanelli

Mark Twain Adventures of Huckleberry Finn

Almost every college playwright or sketch or improv comedian was sort of aware of Christopher Durang - even kids in high school. His short plays were so accessible to younger people and I think that was inspirational to me.

Mindy Kaling

I'm not a comedian. And I'm not sick. The world is sick, and I'm the doctor. I'm a surgeon with a scalpel for false values.

Lenny Bruce

I do a lot of Vegas work and work with the comedians.

Ben E. King

The tragedy for comedians is there's nothing more they want than to be liked. We desperately seek approval. It's almost like a personality disorder you can do as a job.

Jimmy Carr

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If you can't laugh at yourself, life is going to seem a whole lot longer than you'd like.

Sam in Garden State

Laughing & Smile Humor & Comedy

He who can make people laugh has to be taken seriously; all people with power know that.

Werner Finck

Laughing & Smile Humor & Comedy Satire

If you can't make it better, you can laugh at it.

Erma Bombeck

Laughing & Smile Humor & Comedy

Nonsense wakes up the brain cells. And it helps develop a sense of humor, which is awfully important in this day and age.

Theodor Seuss Geisel

Humor & Comedy Craziness & Weirdness

There is nothing in the world so irresistibly contagious as laughter and good humor.

Charles Dickens

Life Love Humor & Comedy

Like a welcome summer rain, humor may suddenly cleanse and cool the earth, the air and you.

Langston Hughes

Summer Humor & Comedy Air

A little nonsense now and then is relished by the wisest men.

Roald Dahl

Humor & Comedy

My parents armed me with an amazing sense of humor, and it's what you need when, well, it's what anyone needs in this world.

Warwick Davis

Humor & Comedy

People who can put on a serious face while joking are the scariest.

Shirou Emiya in Fate/stay night

Humor & Comedy Sarcasm

People confuse the subject of the joke with the target of the joke, and they're very rarely the same.

Ricky Gervais

Humor & Comedy

Humor is the truth; wit is an exaggeration of the truth.

Stan Laurel

Humor & Comedy

You cannot be mad at somebody who makes you laugh - it's as simple as that.

Jay Leno

Humor & Comedy

I don't like the bullying, do-one-over style of comedy. It's so cheap.

Olivia Colman

Humor & Comedy

Some people even think I wear a wig. Do they think I went into a salon one day and said, "Can you please screw this up really bad?"

Carrot Top

I'd love to be animated. I've always wanted to jump off of a bridge and not be hurt, like Bugs Bunny.

Carrot Top

Bugs Bunny

Everyone has the gift of laughter inside of them. All the world is a prop.

Carrot Top

People say that money changes people. It really doesn't. Money don't change people. Money allows you to be more of who you really are. If you're a kind person when you get a lot of money, you become a kinder person. If you're an a-shole when you get a lot of money, you become a big a-shole. When you see rich people acting like a-sholes it's 'cause they've always been one.

Steve Harvey - February 2021

Money

Harvey: "You gonna sit up here on national TV and say 'nekkid', and then point at the damn board like we gonna let you get away with it!"
Contestant: "I bet you said 'nekkid' in one of your comedy routines."
Harvey: "You on Family Feud! This ain't a comedy routine!"

Steve Harvey in Family Feud

Harvey: "When people talk about the big one, what do they refer to?"
Contestant: "A man's privates."
Harvey: "Family! I just got this job! What are you trying to do?"

Steve Harvey in Family Feud

A kiss is something you need both hands for.

Mark Twain

Kissing Hands

Preserve your illusions. When they are gone you may still exist, but not live.

Mark Twain

Dreaming

'You can go home now,' Tom told us.
'We'll meet next week. Then we can rob somebody and kill some people.'

Mark Twain in Adventures of Huckleberry Finn

You don't know about me without you have read a book by the name of The Adventures of Tom Sawyer; but that ain't no matter. That book was made by Mr. Mark Twain, and he told the truth, mainly. There was things which he stretched, but mainly he told the truth.

Mark Twain in Adventures of Huckleberry Finn

The Adventures of Tom Sawyer

Everybody wants to laugh - you know that. They need to laugh... people need to laugh.

Carl Reiner

Laughing & Smile

When the Oakies left Oklahoma and moved to California, it raised the I.Q. of both states.

Will Rogers

Oklahoma

Artists use lies to tell the truth, while politicians use them to cover the truth up.

Evey Hammond in V for Vendetta

Art Truth Politicians

What really alarms me about President Bush's "War on Terrorism" is the grammar. How do you wage war on an abstract noun? How is "Terrorism" going to surrender? It's well known, in philological circles, that it's very hard for abstract nouns to surrender.

Terry Jones

Terrorism

In Italy, you know you've found a truly authentic restaurant when they don't have an English menu. In India, it's when there are no utensils and you must eat with your hands.

Aziz Ansari

Italy India Restaurants

When I say I'm going gangster, I'm working really hard at something.

Lisa Lampanelli

I try not to put anything political on the forefront of what I'm trying to do creatively. At the same time, I do think it's wonderful when I hear people say that it's inspirational that I'm an Indian woman on camera. My life is very diverse, and my friends are a diverse group of people.

Mindy Kaling

Satire is tragedy plus time. You give it enough time, the public, the reviewers will allow you to satirize it. Which is rather ridiculous, when you think about it.

Lenny Bruce

Satire

I still think my whole career was accidental. I didn't pursue it. I feel like I'm cheating sometimes.

Ben E. King

I'm gonna talk about racism now. And this is a straight white man talking, so pay attention!

Jimmy Carr

Dark Humor

Kim Jong-un is very isolated in his own country. He's the only obese person in North Korea.

Olaf Schubert in heute-show - heute-show vom 08.09.2017

Kim Jong Un North Korea

One of the main differences between Munich and Berlin is that when thousands of people get drunk in silly clothes and start vomitting, we don't call it "Oktoberfest", we call it "Tuesday".

Felix Lobrecht

Berlin Munich Oktoberfest

To never be sick can't be healthy.

Karl Valentin

Illness & Sickness

A Christian telling an atheist they're going to hell is as scary as a child telling an adult they're not getting any presents from Santa.

Ricky Gervais

Atheism Santa Claus Hölle

Quotes and Sayings about Comedians

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