The best Quotes by Abbi Singh

Juan: "We should call the police."
Abbi: "Calling the police is what normal people do. We're not normal people anymore."

I love science because science is truly the final frontier.

Tilda's a banshee, Juan's a chupacabra, and I'm a succubus. If we work together, we can reverse the side effects.

How about a copy of the New York Times? It's like reading the internet, but on paper!

Tilda: "A chupacabra, a banshee, and a succubus meet in a park."
Juan: "What's the punchline?"
Tilda: "We are."

Music is the blanket that keeps me warm. It's the flag I raise when I'm tearing down the barricade. It lifts me out of myself and changes my perspective of the world. It's how I know God exists.

Patient: "This isn't over, Dr. F*ckov!"
Sarkov: "Dr. F*ckov. Never heard that one before. Very original! Why don't you try Dr. Suckov?"

Juan: "I didn't do it on purpose."
Tilda: "Tell that to his neck."

Sydney Burke: "There's a third lung behind the heart."
Juan: "Awesome. Too bad we had to kill the guy to see all these cool insides."

Juan: "I'm not a child."
Sarkov: "No, you are a grown man who makes comic books for a living."
Juan: "Graphic novels."
Sarkov: "Okay."

Sarkov: "That's doctor-patient privilege."
Juan: "I thought you were a scientist."
Sarkov: "It's all the same. We all wear white coats and have trouble with eye contact."

Tilda: "One more."
PJ: "Don't you think you've had enough?"
Tilda: "I can still hear you. So no."

Tilda: "Chest, butt, one guy asked me to sign his d-ck."
Juan: "What did... I mean, what did you do?"
Tilda: "I tell you what I didn't do. Use my own pen."

My assistant's having a baby. Which is gross. She wanted me to deliver it, as I was like, "I'm not that kind of doctor." I wouldn't even know what I was looking at.

I taught Oxford for years. Then I turned 20 and moved to the States.

Look, I know it's bad, but it's not bourbon bad.

Abbi: "Tonight we show them that guinea pigs bite back!"
Tilda: "F*ck yeah! You want monsters? We'll give you f*cking monsters!"

PJ: "Have you been forgetting your pills?"
Tilda: "The pills have forgotten me."

We're the reason people don't have to believe in monsters.

No monster left behind.

Lip: "Hey, whoa. You really think they deserve your hard-earned money for that service?"
Frank: "Dine and dash?"
Lip: "Bite and bolt."
Frank: "Eat it and beat it?"

What can I say, once you go white, you always stay tight. Hey, I think I just insulted myself.