The best Quotes from A Tramp Abroad

The Germans are exceedingly fond of Rhine wines; they are put up in tall, slender bottles, and are considered a pleasant beverage. One tells them from vinegar by the label.

That's the difference between governments and individuals. Governments don't care, individuals do.

I went often to look at the collection of curiosities in Heidelberg Castle, and one day I surprised the keeper of it with my German. I spoke entirely in that language. He was greatly interested; and after I had talked a while he said my German was very rare, possibly a 'unique'; and wanted to add it to his museum.

A kiss is something you need both hands for.

Preserve your illusions. When they are gone you may still exist, but not live.

If you pick up a starving dog and make him prosperous, he will not bite you. This is the principal difference between a dog and a man.

Give every day the chance to become the most beautiful day of your life.

Let us consider that we are all partially insane. It will explain us to each other; it will unriddle many riddles.

I do not wish any reward but to know I have done the right thing.

The two most important days in your life are the day you are born and the day you find out why.

If you tell the truth you do not need a good memory.

Good friends, good books, and a sleepy conscience: this is the ideal life.

Everyone is a moon, and has a dark side which he never shows to anybody.

German literacy ought to be gently and reverently set aside among the dead languages, for only the dead have time to learn it.

'Classic' - a book which people praise and don't read.

'You can go home now,' Tom told us.
'We'll meet next week. Then we can rob somebody and kill some people.'

Maybe not, maybe not. Cheer up, Becky, and let's go on trying.

Too much of anything is bad, but too much good whiskey is barely enough.

If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything.

Keep away from people who try to belittle your ambitions. Small people always do that, but the really great make you feel that you, too, can become great.

A person who won't read has no advantage over one who can't read.

Don't go around saying the world owes you a living. The world owes you nothing. It was here first.

A banker is a fellow who lends you his umbrella when the sun is shining, but wants it back the minute it begins to rain.

Thousands of geniuses live and die undiscovered - either by themselves or by others.

Whenever you find that you are on the side of the majority, it is time to reform.

Giving up smoking is the easiest thing in the world. I know because I've done it thousands of times.

It is by the goodness of God that in our country we have those three unspeakably precious things: freedom of speech, freedom of conscience, and the prudence never to practice either of them.

Get your facts first, and then you can distort them.

Life is too short to learn German.

The Germans have six months of winter and six months of no summer.

Germany... a country whose idea of a bedtime story is two children being left to die in the forest, before nearly being cooked and eaten and then murdering an old woman.

Look at Berlin, where Germans and Americans learned to work together and trust each other less than three years after facing each other on the field of battle.

Everything's better with some wine in the belly.

Wine has its uses... like revealing someone's true colors, for example.

I cook with wine, sometimes I even add it to the food.

Wine is constant proof that God loves us and loves to see us happy.

You don't know about me without you have read a book by the name of The Adventures of Tom Sawyer; but that ain't no matter. That book was made by Mr. Mark Twain, and he told the truth, mainly. There was things which he stretched, but mainly he told the truth.

Who knows, he may grow up to be President someday, unless they hang him first.

Ah, if he could only die temporarily!

Walk until the darkness is a memory, and you become the sun on the next traveler's horizon.

Humans had always been better at killing than any other living thing.