The best Quotes from 21 Jump Street

Captain Dickson: "New assignment. Since you two cowboys love to drink booze, smoke weed with kids, and f*ck anything with a big ass in jeans with low self-esteem, I'm gonna send you to a place where all that shit is allowed."
Jenko: "Oh, I love Disneyland!"
Captain Dickson: "You two sons of b*tches are going to college!"

Jenko: "Got a pound of coke."
Schmidt: "We are trying to show them a good time, not ruin their f*cking lives."
Jenko: "Pound of marijuana?"
Schmidt: "Best party ever!"

I really thought this job would have more car chases and explosions... and less homeless people doodooing everywhere.

If any of my officers are caught giving alcohol to minors, they'll find themselves in prison with a snorkel duct taped to their mouth, and me shitting down that snorkel!

Sanders: "You punched me because I'm gay?"
Jenko: "What? No, I... oh, come on. I punched him and... he turned out to be gay afterwards."

Chemistry's the one with the shapes and shit, right?

Dickson: "Don't f*ck no students, don't f*ck no teachers."
Schmidt: "Sir, I know we may look like a couple of lady-killers, but me and my partner will be super professional."
Dickson: "Clearly I wasn't talking to you, big-titties. You cherub-looking motherf*cker. I was talking to your partner, fake-ass Handsome McGee here. When I'm talking to him, I'm talking to him. When I say 'shut the f*ck up', I'm talking to you."

Liking comic books is popular, environmental awareness, being tolerant. If I was just born ten years later, I would have been the coolest person ever.

Jenko: "You have the right to remain... an attorney."
Hardy: "Did you just say you have the right to be an attorney?"
Schmidt: "You do have the right to be an attorney if you want to."

You know what they do to handsome guy like me in prison. It rhymes with grape.

They're teenagers, man. They're really stupid, so you should blend right in.

You are here because you some Justin Bieber, Miley Cyrus lookin' motherf*ckers.

Dickson: "He's white, that means people actually give a shit."
Schmidt: "I would just like to say that I would give a shit if he were black."

Jenko: "Where do we report to?"
Hardy: "Down on Jump Street. 37 Jump Street... wait, that doesn't sound right."

[about all the photos of him in his parents' house] It looks like I died in a car crash and you never got over me.

Sir, if I have to suck someone's dick... I will, but I prefer not to.

Annie Schmidt: "What kind of a sick animal draws an ejaculating penis into a 8-year-old's mouth?"
Greg Jenko: "It's arguably, like, an airplane throwing up."
Annie Schmidt: "You think I don't know that's a dick and balls? I know all about dick and balls! I partied with Robert Downey Jr. before he got sober, when he was really f*cked up and a lot of fun!"

You don't care about the environment? That's f*cked up, man!

Get your... motherf*cking ass up when I'm talking to you! I know what ya'll thinking. Angry black Captain. It ain't nothing but a stupid stereotype. Well let me tell you something, I'm black, and I worked my ass off to become Captain, and sometimes I get angry. So suck a dick!

You never won't know what you can't achieve before you don't achieve it.

We're like, in the end of "Die Hard" right now, only it's our actual life!

Hey! stop f*cking with Korean Jesus! He ain't got time for your problems! He's busy... with Korean shit!

All of everything we've ever done has been riding on low expectations. "Cloudy With a Chance of Meatballs", a terrible idea. Doing "21 Jump Street" as a movie is a terrible idea. "The Lego Movie" sounds like a terrible idea.

With a bucket of Lego, you can tell any story. You can build an airplane or a dragon or a pirate ship - it's whatever you can imagine.

Low expectations is the key to happiness in life.

When I was a kid on the playground, fights were about who got to play Han Solo. He's just one of the best characters ever created.

You can close your eyes to the things you do not want to see. But you cannot close your heart to the things you do not want to feel.

If you love two people at the same time, choose the second one, because if you really loved the first one you wouldn't have fallen for the second.

Laugh as much as you breathe and love as long as you live.

My Body is my Journal, and my Tattoos are my Story.

I just don't want to stop finding things interesting. I don't want to ever stop learning. I want to be a weird encyclopedia of bizarre knowledge.

Now I find seriousness to be rather ridiculous.

Maybe you're not perfect, but you're willing to actually look at yourself and take some kind of accountability. That's a change. It might not mean that you can turn everything around, but I think there's something incredibly hopeful about that.

I love exploring the characters that I play, but the reason I sign on for something isn't the details of the story but the universal message.

I always wanted to be a film-maker when I was younger, not an actor. I was an eight-year-old who dreamed of being a writer on 'The Simpsons,' which was a weird dream to have. But I started taking acting classes as a way to learn how to direct actors and I sort of fell in love with it.

It's always better to shock people and change people's expectations than to give them exactly what they think you can do. It's not unexpected for me to be in a comedy film anymore; I'm no longer the underdog in that world. Not that I'm great or good at it or anything, it's just that I've done a bunch of them, so you're not shocked.

I've never had issues with popularity. I was always a popular guy... I've always had friends and loved ones and everything, so it wasn't like, 'Oh man, I gotta fill some void that was left by high school.' I had a great high-school experience.

All my friends were in college when I was making 'Superbad.' We were drinking beer and watching movies and eating pizza. It wasn't like I was going to nice restaurants or anything like that, and I lived like a frat guy. Eventually it was time to grow up, be healthy and be responsible. You can't live like a kid forever, you know?

Everyone's a nerd inside. I don't care how "cool" you are.

I grew up in Florida, where if you weren't comfortable dancing, you weren't going to get any girls.

Life is too short to miss out on the beautiful things like a double cheeseburger.

I'm thankful for weird people out there 'cause they're some of the most creative people.

I know very little about acting. I'm just an incredibly gifted faker.

My dream was to help my hometown, a small island hidden under the A in Atlantic, called Swallow Falls. We were one of the leading exporters of sardines. Until the day Baby Brent Sardine cannery closed when everyone realized that sardines... are super gross.

Elliot: "I'm not hiding, I was just looking for my... you know, the... I was looking for my dignity."
J.D.: "Did you find it?"
Elliot: "No. I must've left it at college."

Disneyland isn't designed just for children. When does a person stop being a child? Can you say that a child is ever entirely eliminated from an adult?

Herb is the healing of a nation, alcohol is the destruction.

I take quaaludes ten to fifteen times a day for my "back pain", adderall tostay focused, Xanax to take the edge off, pot to mellow me out, cocaine to wake me back up again and morphine well... 'cause its awesome.