The best Quotes from 21 Jump Street

Captain Dickson: "New assignment. Since you two cowboys love to drink booze, smoke weed with kids, and f*ck anything with a big ass in jeans with low self-esteem, I'm gonna send you to a place where all that shit is allowed."
Jenko: "Oh, I love Disneyland!"
Captain Dickson: "You two sons of b*tches are going to college!"

Jenko: "Got a pound of coke."
Schmidt: "We are trying to show them a good time, not ruin their f*cking lives."
Jenko: "Pound of marijuana?"
Schmidt: "Best party ever!"

I really thought this job would have more car chases and explosions... and less homeless people doodooing everywhere.

If any of my officers are caught giving alcohol to minors, they'll find themselves in prison with a snorkel duct taped to their mouth, and me shitting down that snorkel!

Sanders: "You punched me because I'm gay?"
Jenko: "What? No, I... oh, come on. I punched him and... he turned out to be gay afterwards."

Chemistry's the one with the shapes and shit, right?

Dickson: "Don't f*ck no students, don't f*ck no teachers."
Schmidt: "Sir, I know we may look like a couple of lady-killers, but me and my partner will be super professional."
Dickson: "Clearly I wasn't talking to you, big-titties. You cherub-looking motherf*cker. I was talking to your partner, fake-ass Handsome McGee here. When I'm talking to him, I'm talking to him. When I say 'shut the f*ck up', I'm talking to you."

Liking comic books is popular, environmental awareness, being tolerant. If I was just born ten years later, I would have been the coolest person ever.

Jenko: "You have the right to remain... an attorney."
Hardy: "Did you just say you have the right to be an attorney?"
Schmidt: "You do have the right to be an attorney if you want to."

You know what they do to handsome guy like me in prison. It rhymes with grape.

They're teenagers, man. They're really stupid, so you should blend right in.

You are here because you some Justin Bieber, Miley Cyrus lookin' motherf*ckers.

Dickson: "He's white, that means people actually give a shit."
Schmidt: "I would just like to say that I would give a shit if he were black."

Jenko: "Where do we report to?"
Hardy: "Down on Jump Street. 37 Jump Street... wait, that doesn't sound right."

[about all the photos of him in his parents' house] It looks like I died in a car crash and you never got over me.

Sir, if I have to suck someone's dick... I will, but I prefer not to.

Annie Schmidt: "What kind of a sick animal draws an ejaculating penis into a 8-year-old's mouth?"
Greg Jenko: "It's arguably, like, an airplane throwing up."
Annie Schmidt: "You think I don't know that's a dick and balls? I know all about dick and balls! I partied with Robert Downey Jr. before he got sober, when he was really f*cked up and a lot of fun!"

You don't care about the environment? That's f*cked up, man!

Get your... motherf*cking ass up when I'm talking to you! I know what ya'll thinking. Angry black Captain. It ain't nothing but a stupid stereotype. Well let me tell you something, I'm black, and I worked my ass off to become Captain, and sometimes I get angry. So suck a dick!

You never won't know what you can't achieve before you don't achieve it.

We're like, in the end of "Die Hard" right now, only it's our actual life!

Hey! stop f*cking with Korean Jesus! He ain't got time for your problems! He's busy... with Korean shit!

All of everything we've ever done has been riding on low expectations. "Cloudy With a Chance of Meatballs", a terrible idea. Doing "21 Jump Street" as a movie is a terrible idea. "The Lego Movie" sounds like a terrible idea.